Many parents unwittingly sexualize their children because they are afraid of the child having sex too young or being sexually abused, and they don’t know how to take care of their fear. This is not about trying to avoid fearful effects, it’s about healing what causes fearful effects to manifest in the first place.

The root cause of fearful effects is fear, and the only way to eliminate fearful effects is to see that their cause has no basis in reality.

Specifically, our mind is programmed with an “ego”, which guides us to project fearful feelings and then try to avoid them. When the parent dwells in fear over their child being exposed to sex, ego guides the parent to project images that effectively sexualize the child in the parent’s mind, to relate with the world as if the image they hold of the child is really true, and to make agendas to keep the child safe.

Such agendas cause conflict between parent and child at a minimum while increasing the likelihood that the parent’s fears will be played out. Once the child has been sexualized in the parent’s mind, notwithstanding all of the avoidance strategies, the parent’s mind has been programmed to see that the image they believe in is made manifest. That image and trajectory deny the child’s inherent innocence and invulnerability, which causes the child to feel guilty and react fearfully.

To avoid sexualizing your child or to undo what you’ve already made of them…take care of your fearful feelings about your child being exposed to sex.

If the child asks about sex, give them honest answers, but don’t make a big deal of it, or try to control them about it.

If you find out that your child has been masturbating, watching porn or engaging in some sexual behavior, and that triggers upset feelings in you, take care of your feelings instead of justifying them, especially in front of your child. In this way, the child will not be afraid to confide in you if anything feels uncomfortable or scary to them.

That kind of confidence and freedom makes children far less susceptible to peer pressure, to playing victim to sexual predators, or to playing the role of sexual predator. It also protects them from developing a guilt complex about feeling sexual or about having sexual encounters.

If you find out that your child has been playing the role of sexual predator, take care of your feelings so that you can communicate with them. In this way, you can help them uncover and heal the guilty thought process that’s responsible for making them act out as a predator.

If you find out that your child has been playing the role of sexual victim, again, take care of your feelings so that you can communicate with them. In this way, you can help them uncover and heal the guilty thought process that’s responsible for making them into a victim.

I understand that this is a sensitive subject for people, and that’s because pursuant to the ego’s guidance, our mind is conditioned to keep fearful programs protected so that they can continue to justify feeling fearful. That’s how ego prevents us from finding out that there is really no basis for the fearful feeling and no need for ego at all.

As feeling fearful gets healed instead of getting projected, it’s our children who are getting the benefit of our mind’s protection instead of the ego’s fearful program. In addition, love gets extended and harmony prevails between parent and child.

How do you take care of your feelings? Notice when an uncomfortable or painful feeling arises in your body and just offer a little bit of willingness to admit that the feeling is a projection of your own confusion. In this way, your mind learns how to accept healing for your perception instead of using your perception to keep the cause of feeling fearful hidden from your sight.

Taking toys away, or using other forms of manipulation (“discipline”) as a means of convincing your child to change their behavior, doesn’t solve anything.

It may seem to affect their behavior and help you feel better in the short term.

But it denies your potential to feel good regardless of how your child acts while demonstrating to your child that controlling and manipulating people’s behavior is the best way to get what they want.

Did you know that trying to convince children and other people to act differently is only a conditioned habit intended to make you feel better temporarily, but that same habit actually leads you deeper into despair?

I get that you may want to press upon your child the “realities” of the adult world, but that’s not the purpose for which your child shows up in your experience. Their purpose is to help you undo the adult-world thinking that’s actually making you unhappy, not to become a slave to that kind of thinking themselves.

In fact, your child shares the same purpose with you, and you were aware of your purpose as a child, but your early experiences may have caused you to deny yourself and become obedient to worldly wisdom instead.

The question to consider is “What do you really want?”. Would you rather have miracles or masquerades? Heaven or the dream of death? Your answer to these questions is evident in the way you react to your perceptions of bad behavior.

Don’t worry about what you will do about your child’s behavior. All actions (yours and theirs) occur automatically and they are perfectly organized to bring about exactly the lessons you need to learn in order to restore your mind to sanity.

Through your willingness to be aware of what motivates your reactions, you will become so disciplined in the art of true forgiveness that the thought of imposing discipline on your child or anyone else will cease to have any effects on your behavior.

Accepting that you must try to keep your children safe from harm is an effect of first accepting that loving thoughts cannot be trusted and that fearful thoughts are justified and true.

Trying to protect the invulnerable teaches them to be vulnerable, which sets them up for illusions of harming and being harmed.

How do you undo this dangerous thought programming?  Every time a fearful thought crosses your mind, remind yourself that you can have a loving thought instead.

If you are used to agreeing with fearful thoughts, this will feel emotionally painful, because pain is the effect of fear and fear is a device that’s meant to keep you in a state of defensiveness against knowing what’s really true. But just beneath the thin surface of pain and fear is an endless space of freedom and sense of safety that you may not have known for a long time.

As you accept that freedom and safety for yourself, your children will learn that they can trust loving thoughts and that allowing their thoughts to be loving guarantees their safety. In a universe that’s only reflecting thoughts, loving is far more powerful than any effort you can make toward keeping your children safe.

It’s not that you are capable of making any physical effort in the illusion, but agreeing with fearful thoughts is a huge effort because it takes an enormous amount of energy to deny your loving essence. This leads to you feeling worn out, overworked and burdened.

In contrast, allowing your thoughts to be loving takes no effort. Although going through the pain of fear may feel like an effort in the beginning, over time, loving proves to be effortless, uplifting and energizing.

None of this is saying that you should or shouldn’t try to keep your children physically safe. You don’t have any choice in that. Your actions are playing out automatically, leading to exactly the experiences you need to undo what causes a world of illusions that demonstrate a lack of safety in the first place.

P.S. The photo here is of my boy when he was two years old, learning how to work a machete. He was also fond of playing on the roof when he was four years old. He gave this mama many opportunities to undo fearful programming!

Communication is beyond words. It’s the way of demonstrating to your own mind that you are Divine and invulnerable to worldly effects.

Whenever you find yourself wanting communication it’s because you’re already projecting yourself as limited and vulnerable, whilst imagining that someone outside of you is responsible for your feeling separate.

People can feel you. When you think you are wanting communication, what you are really looking for is an argument because you are already in an argument with yourself.

Your kids and other people pick up on that, and unless they are looking for an argument like you, it’s going to look like they are avoiding you.

So, when you feel avoided, you can make a conscious choice to get that feeling effect instead of pursuing communication with a person. When you are willing to get that feeling effect, it demonstrates to your mind that you are willing to learn how to truly communicate even in the midst of perceiving that communication is lacking.

As you rediscover your ability to communicate truly, you will rejoice with every appearance of you wanting communication and not getting it, because of the opportunity it presents for demonstrating who you really are, and thereby allowing your mistaken self-belief to get corrected.

As you enjoy your ability to communicate more and more, your mind will become calm and clear as a result.

In the outer world, your kids and others will seem respond with willingness to communicate with you, without your insistence that they do.